NonRant: Let's See...

Where to begin, alors?

It's all very well to bang on about how I keep dropping off the face of the planet, but being a composite entity can be moderately challenging. One of me is reasonably reliable, one is a bit on the twitchy side, and the core IU hasn't contacted its parents in over two years. And one of us is dead; sadly he will not be missed.

Suffice it to say for the moment, that the long-awaited reincarnation of our beloved gtmarketanalytics site is - once again - awaiting DNS propagation, and once that is done I intend to redirect all blog readers to a WordPress install on the site. That's probably a really very stupid thing to do, because next time we face a cyber-assault the blog will go fratz as well (although that has already happened once). Over time we plan to create a range of virtual dramatis personae, geographically and cyberspatially dispersed, who can serve as conduits for our genius whenever we get targetted for speaking ill of "Israel" or that fat pig Sharon (whose headache continues... we just hope he is in as much pain as the parents of the children he killed).

As well as the AdSense ads, we will sticky-tape a PayPal donation thingo in the blogspace tomorrow. Depennding on the relative largesse of the global Rantophile comunity, we will

• post real-time signals in a nifty popup box that our core IU has builded wif his own brains; or
• post ex-post-facto results of the aforementioned brainiac-icity.

We live in a world where dualism (as epitomised by Gnostic principles) absolutely dominates. On the one hand the world shows its respect for beauty and gentleness, and rewards people who come up with ideas like ICanHasCheezeBurger?; a site which lifts our mood within thirty seconds of clicking on the bookmark. On the other hand the universe is very slow to correct obvious mistakes, like the continued existence of subhuman scum like US President of Vice, Dick Chicanery. His own heart has tried to reject him a few times, and he has yet to be infected with any well-deserved Ebola variants. Much as we love ICanHasCheezeBurger?, the continued existence of Dick "dick" Chicanery seems an unforgiveable oversight.

Let's see where that gets us for the moment.

Your Beloved GT

NiggieRant: Nobody's Too Big To Go Blind...

No apologies for the absence this time - we have had our world turned completely upside down.

You can put me in a detention centre, you can fly me home to Straya (accompanied by FOUR Frog policemen all the way to Bangkok), you can call me names and tell me you don't like my haircut. None of the above will make my nose go all sniffly and tears form in my eyes.

I'm not saying I'm a hard man, mind.

But I'm getting off the point.

My black cat - the Mighty Biggie (otherwise known as Niggie, Nigg-nigg, Nigness-Wigness, Wiggie, Niggie-Piggie and The Black Prince) - is going blind.

He came downstairs over a week ago - to grace us with his Bigness, or so I thought; sometimes he takes a break from his hectic goal-driven sleep schedule to try and raise the spirits of his subjects.

Then I noticed that one of his eyes was dilated to infinity, and fixed. The lens was luxated, and by the next day the lens was cloudy.

Strike One.

Day after day of hourly eyedrops (mis-prescribed, if you ask me - pilocarpine is apparently useless for cats and might actually aggravate the issue, and Xalatan likewise... luckily we found that out ourselves and stopped the pilo and Xalatan and continued with the Fradexam, Timolol and oral Diamox).

Now it seems that his left eye is likewise going.

Strike Two...

You know you've got it bad when you try to explain in bad French (actually, there is no such thing as good French - the language is badly designed [by committee, no less] and needs a market-driven overhaul)... as I was saying, when you try to explain to the baker what is going on, and you find you have to stop for fear of bursting into tears.

Yes, I know... what a poof.

Next stop is the feline ophthamologist - in the hope that the eyes are still capable of vision (i.e., there has not been damage to the retinae or the optic disc); hopefully that's the case and Nigg will have the luxated lenses removed.

And there you have it - proof that there is no God. If there was, Dick "Chicanery" Cheney and his parasitic ilk would all die gruesome deaths from a variant of Ebola that ate you to bits over 20 years with vast amounts of unbearable pain, oozing sores and pus and vomiting.

Instead, the most noble beast - His Very Nigness - will have to go without sight until the advent of visual prostheses. It is just not fair.

That said, I am coming to grips with the situation (as is Niggie - he is massively disoriented at the moment, but getting better each day: braver than I would be), and other things being equal, I plan to resume normal market-based ranting next week.