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The 40-Question Meme is probably not actually a 'meme' in any coherent sense of the word (Yanks have this habit of glomming onto words and then using them so far out of context that they might as well be speaking Finno-Ugric). It has been doing the rounds, and since I still have not fixed the engine for the Rants I figured it was a lazy way to generate some content.
So... prepare to get a glimpse into the Abyss...
1. My uncle
once : got shot in the chest
during an armed holdup.
2. Never in
my life : have I met a man under
five-feet-eight who didn't have a complex.
3. When I
was five : I was five.
4. High
School was : dull at first, but it got
better.
5. I will never forget : the phrase 'bright dead alien eyes' from Chesterton's "Secret People".
6. I once
met : a man who would kill
you if I asked him.
7. There’s
this girl I know who :
works
in a shop.
8. Once, at
a bar : I broke a woman's arm and
she didn't even grunt (she had a knife, and was on PCP).
9. By noon,
I’m usually : thoroughly awake.
10. Last
night : I read, watched TV and
drank.
11. If only I had : had the knucklehead clipped the moment it was clear he was a problem.
12. Next
time I go to gym : I will have
resolved to do so regularly.
13. Terry
Schiavo : has nothing
whatsoever to do with me.
14. What
worries me most : is that my cats may have
been hurt.
15. When I
turn my head left, I see :
a
shredder.
16. When I
turn my head right, I see :
a
doorway.
17. You know
I’m lying when : I tell you.
18. What I
miss most about the eighties :
the
night life.
19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be : the porter from Macbeth.
20. By this
time next year : several people will be
missing.
21. A better
name for me would be : G.
22. I have a
hard time understanding : people who
believe in (a) government, or (b) a Sky Wizard.
23. If I
ever go back to school, I’ll : finish my fucking PhD.
24. You know
I like you if : I tell you.
25. If I
ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be : The Lovely Sarah.
26. Darwin,
Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro : Talented Researcher,
Prodigious Talent, Archetypal Redneck & Political
Parasite-Whore.
27. Take my
advice, never : cross me or hurt my cats.
28. My ideal breakfast is : bacon and eggs on toast, with artificial bacon (doesn't exist yet, sadly).
29. A song I
love, but do not own is : nothing -
'love' a SONG? Fucking Yanks.
30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest : breakfast at Bagatelle in Rathdowne street.
31. Tulips,
character flaws, microchips, & track stars : make life interesting
(except trackstars).
32. Why
won’t people : ?
33. If you
spend the night at my house : don't expect me
to entertain you.
34. I’d stop
my wedding for : stupid question to ask an
agnostic anarchist.
35. The
world could do without :
short
men and neocons (but I repeat myself).
36. I’d
rather lick the belly of a cockroach than : shake hands with Paul "The
Ferengi" Wolfowtiz.
37. My
favorite blonde is : probably fake.
38: Paper
clips are more useful than : governments.
39. If I do anything well, it’s : keep collateral deaths to a minimum.
40. And by the way : get your affairs in order.
